W.Minh Tuan

In the Vietnamese journalism community in Hanoi a long time ago, a funny story spread about female journalist Khuc Nga’s underwear.

This funny story is as follows.

Ms. Khuc Nga was a quite famous journalist in the Vietnamese journalism industry a long time ago.

Khuc Nga may have retired now, but when she was young she was quite a girl.

She looks like this: skin as white as a boiled egg, hair as black as ebony charcoal, tomato-red lips, nose as tall as coconut leave, eyes as black as jackfruit seeds, teeth as white as grapefruit seeds, eyebrows of guava leaves, eyelashes of lemon leaves, smile as bright as the crescent moon.

That’s why when Ms. Khuc Nga went on a local business trip, there were many local officials who flirted with her. However, it is very difficult for you guys to get any good deal with her, because Ms. Khuc Nga only plays with big-sized cadres, but she doesn’t play with small-sized officers.

One time, Ms. Khuc Nga went to work in a certain province.

She stayed at the Guest House of the Provincial Party Committee, very luxurious. In the evening, she showered, washed her underwear, then dried her nylon underwear on the porch of the Provincial Party Committee Guest House. Back when there were subsidies time, nylon underwear was very rare. Only Hanoi people like Khuc Nga could get one, but it was very difficult to get one for local officials.

The next morning, the underwear flew away.

Ms. Khuc Nga was very upset. She went to see local leaders and complained:

“-The security and order in your locality is not good at all. My nylon underwear hung out to dry on the porch of the Provincial Party Committee’s Guest House, but someone stole it. If I write this story in the newspaper, your locality will lose emulation points and you will not be promoted to higher officials.”

The local leader was so panicked that he said:

-“Yes, journalist Khuc Nga, who is so naughty? Report it to you, we will set up a special case to find your underwear, return it to you in its original condition, without missing a single thread, and will punish that thief.”

-“Huh, not an ordinary thief. It must be considered a reactionary crime, because it lost the emulation points of an entire locality, not a normal theft.”

-“Yes, yes, we have to accuse him of being a reactionary. That’s so bad, he dared to steal the underwear of a female Central journalist. Yes, please rest assured. We will find that unruly reactionary guy.”

The local leaders immediately ordered the establishment of a Special Investigation Committee, including 5 Special Investigation Teams, Team 1 going to the North, Team 2 going to the South,  Team 3 going to the West, Team 4 going to the East, and 1 Central Team responsible for coordinating forces.

Before the soldiers went on duty, the leader advised:

-“Comrades, you must remember, even though it’s just Ms. Khuc Nga’s underwear, this is the face of our locality, so you must try to find it, do you hear?”

-“Clear”, all the soldiers of the specialized project groups shouted in unison.

After that, the specialized soldiers enthusiastically searched for the reactionary thief, but after 3 days there were still no results.

The local leader told the specialized soldiers:

-“What should you guys do? This woman is so fiercely, we’ll lose our position.”

A soldier gave a plan:

-“Yes sir, report to the boss, now there is a way.”

-“What way?”

-“Yes, Chief, use a sniffer dog.”

-“How to use it?”

-“Yes, our local police have a sniffer dog with the rank of captain, very good at sniffing. Let the captain’s sniffer dog come in and smell the underwear that Ms. Khuc Nga is wearing, then the dog will follow that scent and smell and search, and will probably find the reactionary thief. Yes sir, this captain dog comrade is very good, this dog comrade has discovered many difficult cases.”

-“Ha, that way? Yeah, maybe there’s no other way. Let me report to Ms. Khuc Nga and see she will OK or not.”

The local leader came to knock on Ms. Khuc Nga’s door. Ms. Khuc Nga opened the door, stuck her head out and excitedly shouted:

-“Hey, you guys found it, you guys are really talented.”

-“Yes, not yet. Yes, it’s very difficult. Yes, the special investigator have suggested another solution. Yes, please advise.”

-“Huh, what’s the plan? You guys keep talking.”

-“Yes sir, the plan is to use a sniffer dog.”

-“Really? Okay, then you guys go ahead, why do you need to ask my opinion?

-“Yes, yes, we must have your cooperation.”

-“Huh, how is the cooperation?”

-“Yes sir, you allowed the police dog to come in and smell the underwear you are wearing. After that, the dog will follow your scent to hunt down the thief. I’m sure we’ll find your underwear and catch that reactionary thief.”

-“Ha, oh my god.” Ms. Khuc Nga thought for a while and then had to agree.

-“That is enough. There is no other way. OK, you guys let the dogs in here. But does he do anything else that was naughty?”

-“Yes, no. This is captain dog comrade, this dog comrade is very obedient to orders, and will not do anything else inappropriate.”

-“Okay, then you guys let the dog in here.”

The sniffing dog captain was led into Ms. Khuc Nga’s room and the door was closed. The special investigative team members and local leaders anxiously waited outside.

About 15 minutes later, the door opened, Ms. Khuc Nga walked out, a worried look on her face:

-“Hey, how’s your dog?  After smelling it, it collapsed and fell asleep. No matter how much I shook it, it wouldn’t wake up. You guys go in and see what it’s like.”

2 veterinarians were immediately sent to check the situation of the professional dog.

After 30 minutes of examination, measuring blood pressure, pulse, heart, lungs, stomach, etc., the doctors reported:

-“Yes sir, this dog had breath poisoning and died while on duty. Yes, it cannot be cured. Yes, please allow me to hold a memorial service.”

The local leaders are very worried, not because they have sacrificed their talented police dog captain, but because they have not been able to find Ms. Khuc Nga’s underwear, and have not yet captured the traitor’s act of stealing.

The memorial service for the dog captain was conducted. Several lower-ranking professional dogs such as lieutenants and lower lieutenants did not dare to approach the captain’s body, for fear of being infected with breath poisoning.

Another special investigative soldier offered his advice:

-“Yes, sir. There is another way.”

-“What way?”

-“Yes sir, we would like to ask the Central Committee to deploy a Central sniffing dog, with the rank of lieutenant colonel, they will definitely be able to solve the case.”

-“Okay, good, good. You guys do it now.”

3 days later, the lieutenant colonel of a sniffer dog was brought back, tall, muscular, beautiful, and very unlikely to get breath poisoning.

The local leader again knocked on Ms. Khuc Nga’s door to ask for advice.

-“Yes, report to Ms. Khuc Nga, now we have asked the Central Committee to send back another police dog comrade, lieutenant colonel, very talented, healthy, handsome, certainly this time he cannot be poisoned by air. I’m sorry, Ms. Khuc Nga, let the lieutenant colonel’s dog come in and sniff again. This time, we will definitely solve the case.”

-“That is enough. Let the lieutenant colonel dog come in here. Tall, big, handsome, right?”

-“Yes, yes, very tall, big, handsome.”

The lieutenant colonel’s dog was led into the room.

Why did it take so long this time, 30 minutes later the door still hasn’t opened.

Finally, the door opened, the lieutenant colonel’s dog rushed out of the room, and rushed straight at the local leader, barking loudly at his crotch.

The local leader’s face turned red and he shouted angrily:

-“This unruly dog, are you crazy? Lieutenant Colonel, why are you so stupid? Looking for a reactionary thief, why are you looking for me?

But the lieutenant colonel’s dog still did not let go, kept barking loudly, and tore at the local leader’s crotch.

The local leader was so frightened that he curled up and ran as fast as he could. The comrade ran so fast that even the lieutenant colonel’s dog could not catch up.

The special squad finally can’t find the nylon underwear for Ms. Khuc Nga, and can’t catch the reactionary, and the case had to be canceled.

Now that our country has innovated for more than 40 years, the economy has developed rapidly, so I heard that Ms. Khuc Nga now has a lot of good nylon underwear, Made in Tokyo, Made in Paris, Made in Beijing, Made in Vietnam. ,,,.

Recently, when I met Ms. Khuc Nga, I asked her if she remembered the incident of losing her underwear in the past? She smiled and said:

-“You naughty journalists are just making up stories. Yes, it is true that I lost my underwear when I went to the local place, but then the locality bought me another pair of underwear to compensate.

-What about that guy who ran away, is it true?

At this point, Ms. Khuc Nga was confused. She said:

-Who knows that ghosts eat food? Okay, you gossipy journalists, let’s go play somewhere else.///