Minh Tuan
When I was a child, the US was bombing the North Vietnam, mainly in the Central region, such as Ham Rong Bridge, Dong Loc-Thanh Hoa intersection, and Hanoi was sometimes quite quiet.
At that time, the people in the North Vietnam still lived happily, kindly, and elegantly with each other. I remember my father was riding my bicycle on the street in Hanoi, and on the side of the street, someone’s house was having a wedding. When my father and I walked past, there was a woman standing at the door who greeted us warmly:
-Hello uncle, hello nephew. Please come in and join our children in the wedding.
It was a surprise, my father and I did not know that woman or that house at all.
My father was a cheerful and easy-going person, so he shyly accepted, saying:
-Yes, yes, my father and I would like to come in and have a little joy with the family.
So the two of us rode our bicycles into the large yard, where there were many tables and chairs for guests, and there were quite a few people sitting and chatting happily, with soft, cheerful music playing. The two of us, a little strange, sat down at a stall where a few people were already sitting, then the woman from earlier came over to pour water, invited us to eat candy, and fruit on the table.
The two of us, a little embarrassed, sat down to drink water, eat candy, and chat with the people sitting next to us, then asked permission to leave.
The woman smiled and thanked us for attending her son’s wedding.
Vietnamese people in the past were like that, when they went out on the street, they saw each other as if they were brothers, relatives, and treated each other intimately like brothers in the family. People who did not know each other at all, but when passing by a wedding, were invited to attend the wedding, as if they were acquaintances.
Another time, when my father and I were walking on the sidewalk in Hanoi, we saw a few funeral cars passing by. My father took off his hat, held it in his hand, and waited for the funeral procession to pass, before putting it back on.
My father didn’t say anything to me, didn’t explain anything, but for a child under 10 years old like me at that time, his gestures and actions, and those of the people around him, left a deep impression on my mind.
During Tet, our extended family and relatives often gathered at my aunt’s and father’s younger sister’s house. My aunt had a big, spacious house, so the relatives had a place to gather happily every Tet. At that time, we children were very happy, meeting each other, joking, running, jumping, teasing, and chatting. As for our parents and grandparents, they were also just as happy, talking and laughing loudly.
At that time, it was still the war against America, but life was full of happiness, joy, and warm humanity. When going to the market to buy things, never get cheated or overcharged.
Very little swearing or arguing.
If there is any conflict or disagreement among relatives, there is no need to sue in court or law, the Head of the family will come forward to resolve it fairly.
When leaving the house, there is usually no need to lock the house, just run to the neighbor’s house to ask them to look after it. The house always leaves the door open, so that neighbors, or anyone in need can enter the house, without having to knock or call out loudly.
When people talk to each other, there is always a subject, “-Yes, uncle, aunt, father, mother,,,” from the seller, to superiors, subordinates, friends, colleagues, all talk to each other with “Yes, sir, yes, yes,,,” very politely.
When the war was fierce, the Americans dropped a lot of bombs, the people of Hanoi and big cities evacuated to the countryside, and were sheltered, helped, given shelter, shared accommodation, food, and waters by the farmers.
Near the farmer’s house where we were evacuated, there was a communal house, pagoda, temple, or shrine, with two stone lions placed at the gate of that communal house or pagoda. When people from that village passed by, they always took off their hats, held their hats in their hands, and greeted the two stone lions, very politely and respectfully. We, the children of Hanoi, also learned from them, when we passed by that temple or pagoda, we all stood politely and bowed our heads.
Then, gradually, those beautiful characteristics of the Vietnamese people gradually disappeared. It was said that the two stone lions were taken away to make lime. The culture of speaking with a subject, politeness, and elegance was replaced by the culture of “fairness, equality”, from the way of addressing “Yes sir, sir, madam, aunt, uncle,,,” to “comrade”, everyone was “comrade”, no distinction could be made between rank, age, and family relationships anymore.
The people of Saigon in the past, before the liberation in 1975, were also polite, kind, and gentle like that. In 1986, the first time I went to Saigon, I visited someone, his nephew ran out, folded his arms, and bowed his head to greet:
– Hello uncle.
Nowadays, the children of Saigon know how to fold their arms, bow their heads to greet “Hello uncle, Hello aunt,,,” which is still very rare, still exists, but has disappeared a lot.
Many people in Saigon now say that when the communists entered and occupied Saigon in 1975, they all welcomed, cheered, and welcomed them. But now, seeing the elegant, kind, gentle culture of the Saigon people disappearing, they feel very sorry.
And so do the Hanoi people.
When the Viet Minh army entered Hanoi in 1954, the Hanoi people poured into the streets to welcome and cheer. Then, the elegant, kind, gentle culture of the Hanoi people gradually disappeared, which is a real pity, replaced by the culture of swearing, cursing, fighting, arguing, cheating, and chopping customers,,,.
Before 1954, in the North, Vietnamese women wore Ao Dai when going out, in the South before 1975, women also wore Ao Dai when going out, beautiful, elegant.
Then the communists took power, Ao Dai was gone, only the cadre’s shirt remained, and now, jeans, short skirts, tank tops that expose the navel, breasts, buttocks, thighs, skinny, bony, faces covered in makeup like masks on stage.
During the war against America, Vietnamese people still respectfully and affectionately called the police “uncle police”, not “guy chap police” like they do now. Not because the people are impolite, but because the people’s police force has done many bad things, losing the image of “people’s police soldiers”, and instead, the image of “rude, insolent policemen who make people’s money”.
Today’s traffic police, standing proudly in the middle of the street, holding red batons/sticks, their faces are strict, firm, threatening, only waiting for violators to fine, make money, not warmly reminding people, educating people, guiding people to follow traffic laws.
Now the people’s police are the police who fine people, arrest people, scold people, but it is rare to see police reminding people, warmly educating people, happily helping people on the street.
Only when there are storms, floods, natural disasters, do we see the police helping people, to be shown on television, on YouTube, on Tiktok,,,.
At the airport, we only see serious faces, stern faces, rarely smiling faces, all faces of an Airport staffs are full of seriousness, of all staff, from airline staff, to customs, to immigration security.
A country of Vietnam with thousands of years of civilization, elegance, kindness, but today, right from the airport gate are serious faces as dry as reinforced concrete, therefore where does elegance and kindness come from in Vietnam?
I went to Noi Bai airport recently, saw a female airport staff holding a notebook with both hands, wearing a very beautiful ao dai, perhaps that’s why she used her foot to show some foreign guests where to put their luggage,,,.
So I was so disappointed that I wrote a poem to myself:
“Ao dai is really beautiful, my dear,
Long legs are really beautiful, just for making fun”.
General Secretary To Lam was the former Minister of Public Security, he was very polite, kind, and welcoming. But many of his subordinate police officers were impolite, inelegant, and uncultured.
So I have a poem mocking as follows:
“The Minister of Public Security is like the sky,
How he is polite and warm.
But many of his subordinates are nonsense,
Lack of culture, how the people hate it”.///
In the past, the Chinese invaders occupied Vietnam for over 1000 years, but in the end, the Vietnamese regained independence, to build the elegant, kind, gentle culture of the Vietnamese people.
Now, the hope is the same.
Even though the communist “comrade” culture “of equal age” is corrupting and destroying the morality of our Vietnamese society,
one day,
the Vietnamese people will rebuild, regain the elegant, kind, gentle culture of the past,
so that children know how to fold their arms, bow their heads and say “Hello uncle, Children and grandchildren say hello uncle,,,”,
and people on the street know how to take off their hats when they see a funeral passing by,
know how to smile and congratulate when they see a wedding,
know how to “Love others as you love yourself”, know “Gourd, love the squash, Although different species, but on the same trellis”,
know “One sick horse, the whole train abandons grass”,
knowing that humanity stands above money, knowing how to be talented, intelligent, hard-working, not cheating to make a lot of money,
know to become rich honestly, and also knowing how to help the poor and disadvantaged.!!!
Elegant Vietnamese society, with lots of warm humanity, will one day, definitely return.
When will our Vietnamese culture be the same as in the past?
That is the responsibility of each of us Vietnamese, don’t ask others, ask yourself, and answer yourself with practical actions, starting with picking up a piece of trash someone threw on the sidewalk.///